photo of Debbie AugenthalerDebbie Augenthaler, LMHC, NCC

Debbie is a psychotherapist in private practice in New York City. Her husband, Jim, died suddenly in her arms when she was only 36 years old. He had been healthy and vibrant – the doctors compared the probability of his death by heart attack to being struck by lightning. That lightning strike ended her life as she knew it and thus began the “baptism by fire” that brought her to her new future.

Debbie’s award-winning book, You Are Not Alone, is the book she wishes she’d had when she was grieving, and is glad to have now to offer clients experiencing life-altering losses. With the connection of a shared experience, Debbie guides the reader through grief to transformation and a new beginning. You Are Not Alone is the 2018 Winner of the Foreword INDIES 2018 Book Awards, Grief/Grieving, and an Award Finalist in Health: Psychology/Mental Health for the 2019 International Book Awards.

As a psychotherapist specializing in trauma, grief, and loss, Debbie’s clinical training is steeped in Western traditions of healing. Interweaving the knowledge gained from her graduate studies, clinical training, working with many clients, and her life experiences has made her very curious and interested in how people have been dealing with grief and loss since the beginning of time. She has been on a wonderful journey of studying Eastern philosophy, energy healing, and exploring spiritual practices from cultures around the world, learning about the wisdom of the ages and the many different ways people have ritualized grief and healing. Ancient healing traditions incorporate the connection to that which is beyond our physical world, the connection to spirit, to earth, to all that is. To Love. She is building a bridge between the two traditions, using time-honored practices to inform her work with clients.

Debbie helps normalize common feelings and experiences for people who are grieving, and holds space for each of us to experience grief in our own way and time, because grief is not linear. There are many gifts that accompany loss, including spiritual awakenings, discovering the connection with forever love, developing deep compassion, and grateful appreciation for the blessings along the way from grief to healing to transformation and joy. Debbie has walked this path throughout her life and wants to help you on your path from grief to joy.

I believe we are all connected. No one should feel alone in their grief, their sorrow, their hope, their healing, their transformation.

Debbie has an MA in Counseling for Mental Health and Wellness from New York University. She completed a two year post graduate Advanced Trauma Studies program from the Institute of Contemporary Psychotherapy and is trained in various modalities that inform a holistically based practice including EMDR, Internal Family Systems, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Energy Psychology, and Hypnosis.

In 2012 she received the NYU Steinhardt Award for Outstanding Clinical Service.

Debbie speaks regularly in the New York area, and is available to give workshops, trainings and talks to professionals, grief support groups, and books groups around the country. To book Debbie, please visit her Workshops & Talks page.

She has also been featured in numerous interviews, articles, and podcasts. Visit her Press Page to learn more.

When the shock and numbness begins to wear off, re When the shock and numbness begins to wear off, reality starts to sink in around the edges. When it happens is different for everyone. Sometimes it’s a few weeks, sometimes it’s a few months. There is no timetable. ⁠
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Almost everyone experiences anxiety. There are many ways we try to alleviate it. For me, it was walking. What is it for you? It could be binge watching Netflix or drinking too much or eating too much or sleeping too much or cleaning the house over and over or keeping yourself so busy you don’t have to time to think. That’s the whole point—it’s hard to be in the new world of After.⁠
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Do you sometimes feel like you can’t stand to be in your skin? If this is your experience, know this: you are not the only one. You’re not going crazy. ⁠
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Remember, grief is not linear. You will go back and forth between all the phases of anger and denial and bargaining and depression and acceptance. Sometimes in one day. Sometimes in one hour. So as you stumble and stride and stop to gather strength along the way towards healing, be compassionate toward yourself.⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
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An excerpt from the book 'You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope' by Debbie Augenthaler. ⁠
LINK is in our profile. ⁠
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#griefisnotlinear #griefandhealing #griefandloss #itsokaytogrieve #debbieaugenthalerauthor #youarenotalonebook #grief #grieving #grieveinyourownway #griefsupport #griefshare #griefisajourney #griefisaprocess #griefprocess #griefcounseling #therapy #therapyworks #healing
If you are in a dark place, I urge you, with all m If you are in a dark place, I urge you, with all my heart, to find someone who can help you. I wholeheartedly believe in therapy; it was crucial to my healing. I became a therapist because I wanted to help others like my therapist helped me. ⁠
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If therapy is not an option for you, I urge you to reach out to someone who will help you through this dark period. Find someone you can trust, who will hold you when you are in such pain. If you go to a place of worship, reach out to your pastor, your priest, your rabbi. Find a support group, call a hotline, your best friend, a family member—call someone you know can hold you through this time. ⁠
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I urge you, if you’re in this place, just hold on, breathe through it, cry through it, for these moments pass, and you WILL get through it.	⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler
Go out and look at the moon. If it’s a clear nig Go out and look at the moon. If it’s a clear night, notice the whole moon and the shadow. Think of your whole self always being a part of you, even when you can’t feel all of yourself, all of your brightness. ⁠
Watch the cycle of the moon as a meditation throughout the month. Look at the stars and the light and let them speak to you. What do you hear?�⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
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Purchase the book 'You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope' by Debbie Augenthaler. ⁠
LINK is in our profile. ⁠
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#giftsofloss #griefandhealing #griefandloss
One year ago, the world lost a beautiful poet, Mar One year ago, the world lost a beautiful poet, Mary Oliver.⁠
In honor of her, I'm sharing this little quote - one of hope and perseverance. Take all the time you need. And know this, too: Every loss brings an opportunity for our hearts to grow. Loss leads to growth and expanding out. Then we, in turn, can help others – with the wisdom and compassion and understanding that come from transformational experiences. ⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
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Purchase the book 'You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope' by Debbie Augenthaler. ⁠
LINK is in our profile. ⁠
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#maryoliver #poetry #giftsofloss #griefandhealing #griefandloss #gratitude #loveliveson #loveisforever #rememberwhoyouare #itsokaytogrieve #debbieaugenthalerauthor #youarenotalonebook #grief #grieving #griefsupport #griefshare #griefisajourney #griefisaprocess
Helping others helps us get through dark times and Helping others helps us get through dark times and offers us the gift of finding greater purpose and meaning in our own lives. This gift is nurtured by the seeds of our own sorrow, and with this gift, we are able to give to others.⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
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Purchase the book 'You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope' by Debbie Augenthaler. ⁠
LINK is in our profile. ⁠
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#johnmarkgreen #giftsofloss #griefandhealing #griefandloss #gratitude #loveliveson #loveisforever #itsokaytogrieve #debbieaugenthalerauthor #youarenotalonebook #grief #grieving #grieveinyourownway #griefsupport #griefshare #griefisajourney #griefisaprocess #griefprocess #griefcounseling #therapy #therapyworks #healing
...and let it begin with me. ...and let it begin with me.
Especially in the early phases of grief, we don’ Especially in the early phases of grief, we don’t believe we’ll ever feel better. We can become childlike in our grief, and it takes time to learn how to cope, to heal, and to hope again. Coping with grief is something that has to be learned and developed; if you’ve never experienced a shattering loss, you have no mental imprint for how to put the pieces back together.⁠
It took me years to grow from my own losses, and now, coupled with my professional experience and training, I offer healing insights to help guide you through the labyrinth of loss and healing, along with simple suggestions of things to do that can be helpful along the way. I also show how spiritual and metaphysical connections can be forged by loss, revealing the reality that love and spirit never dies.⁠
The distance I have from my grief now gives me a perspective I couldn’t have had when I was newly grieving. If you are feeling hopeless in your grief, I want you to know that I have been where you are; I got through it. I made it, and you will make it too.⁠
There are many gifts that come with loss, including spiritual awakenings and discovering the connected bond of eternal love. We often develop a deeper compassion and an appreciation for the blessings that come from the challenging journey of grief, leading us to healing, transformation, and a new kind of joy.⁠
I have walked this path throughout my life and want to walk with you on yours.⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
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Purchase the book 'You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope' by Debbie Augenthaler. ⁠
LINK is in our profile. ⁠
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#wuvip #rumi #griefandhealing #griefandloss #gratitude #loveliveson #loveisforever #itsokaytogrieve #debbieaugenthalerauthor #youarenotalonebook #grief #grieving
God, Divine Love, Divine Spirit, whatever name you God, Divine Love, Divine Spirit, whatever name you use, is always present. Let it cradle you, and let yourself be given the gift of having insight, feeling a blessing of peace.⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
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Everyone is different, but for me, it took a long Everyone is different, but for me, it took a long time for the shock to wear off and to accept my new reality. And so when the first-year markers began to turn into the second ones, they felt like firsts for me, as I no longer had the numbness of shock to buffer the strain of the holidays. ⁠
I felt I was supposed to be further along in my grieving because it had been a year. Not that people said this directly, but I know they thought it. This is not a criticism. If you’ve never suffered a devastating loss you can’t know how it feels—even though everyone will at some point in their lives. I felt like I was failing an unwritten rulebook of grief: wow, it’s been a year already and you’re still so steeped in it?⁠
I was exhausted from trying to hold back my feelings so as not to make others uncomfortable. I was lucky to have the support of close loved ones and my therapist, but even so, I felt self-conscious and thought I was never going to feel okay again. Many of my clients have felt this way, and you might be feeling it, too. You will feel better, but you need to take the time you need. It’s okay to not be okay. And if you’re feeling much better, that’s okay, too. There is no rulebook! Remember, grief is not linear, and there is no timetable. ⁠
A wise woman’s words planted a seed of hope by using a metaphor I could understand. A caterpillar’s world is turned upside down, literally—it hangs from a twig or leaf and spins a cocoon, or molts into a chrysalis. Once it’s safely encased, the caterpillar digests itself, dissolving all its tissues. But the cells, the essence of the caterpillar, remain and reassemble, developing into a butterfly. When the transformation is complete, the butterfly emerges from the chrysalis. It’s amazing to watch. The butterfly is tentative at first, hanging upside down, letting its wilted wings dry and begin to firm. Then its wings start to flutter, and eventually it gains the strength to fly away.�⁠
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This is an excerpt from the book 'You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope' by Debbie Augenthaler. ⁠
LINK is in our profile. ⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
Don't let anyone tell you how you should grieve. I Don't let anyone tell you how you should grieve. It's all in your own way and your own time. Remember, grief has no timetable. There are no "should's". Your process is unique to you.⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
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Purchase the book 'You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope' by Debbie Augenthaler. ⁠
LINK is in our profile. ⁠
⁠
#wuvip #soulwisdom #grieveinyourownway #itsokaytogrieve #debbieaugenthalerauthor #youarenotalonebook #grief #grieving #griefsupport #griefshare #griefisajourney #griefisaprocess #griefprocess #griefcounseling #therapy #therapyworks #healing
⁠ The holidays are approaching, and it feels lik ⁠
The holidays are approaching, and it feels like the first time without Jim. Last year they started just weeks after he died, when I was still in shock. I decide to spend Thanksgiving at a retreat in the woods of California to gather my strength for Christmas.⁠
Among the tall ponderosa pines and the crisp northern California air and the Milky Way vastness sparkling overhead I meet her—an intuitive healer at the retreat center. I know I must schedule an appointment with her when I first see her glide across the green grass as if she isn’t from Earth. Twenty minutes into our time together I know why. Her soft hand gently reaches for mine when the tremors of grief and the tears distract me from her dark, penetrating eyes. She whispers words of wisdom and knowing to the part of me waiting for permission—something I didn’t know I was seeking. But she knew. Her long, black hair brushes against my arm as she comes to sit by my side. Her arm is now around me, my head guided to rest on her shoulder as my own shoulders shake and I sob. She gives me the gift of permission to be exactly where I am right now with my grief.⁠
She tells me I need time to cocoon. She calls me “dear” and tells me to take as long as I need. My weary, wet eyes look into her strong, dry ones when she tells me I will emerge from this experience not just a survivor, but stronger, brighter, and more beautiful than ever—like a butterfly. She promises me this, and her knowing of the future helps me hold onto the hope this is possible, even if I can’t see what she sees.⁠
Before her comforting words I felt like I was failing a societal rulebook for grieving, like I was supposed to be stronger. I had to be reminded that real strength grows out of weakness. Her gentle wisdom gives me permission to be okay with my feelings. I am still in need of tremendous healing. I am tender, vulnerable, and raw. And this is okay.⁠
After her words, my shoulders straighten a little. I feel a gentle tingling as hope pulls like a thin thread on my dormant wings.⁠
She is one of my angels.⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
Happy Thanksgiving from Grief to Gratitude <3 Happy Thanksgiving from Grief to Gratitude <3
#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone⁠ #grieftogratitude #youarenotalone⁠
We all have changes, transitions, and transformati We all have changes, transitions, and transformation in our lives. Endings and beginnings are a lifelong journey and process. We all have times of sorrow, sadness, hope, joy and growth, shedding old ways and growing into new ways of being.⁠
Loss of any kind can bring great gifts, to yourself and to others. There is no way for us to know this at the beginning of grief. If someone had told me this in the first few months after Jim died, I might have slapped them and said, “How can you say that? How, in any way, can this ever be seen as a gift?” It takes time, and it certainly doesn’t mean the loss is the gift.  It’s what comes after the loss. It’s what we learn in the process of grieving, who we become afterwards. ⁠
We have all heard people say, “If THAT terrible event hadn’t happened, then I wouldn’t have had the chance for THIS meaningful opportunity." Everything from starting charities, to parents who have lost children and gone to Washington to change legislation, to volunteering to help those in need, and so much more. Foundations have been started, books have been written, new love has formed. So much good coming out of so much pain. All of it shapes who we become. ⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
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This is an excerpt from the book 'You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope' by Debbie Augenthaler. ⁠
LINK is in our profile. ⁠
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#wuvip #giftsofloss #griefandhealing #griefandloss #itsokaytogrieve #debbieaugenthalerauthor #youarenotalonebook #grief #grieving #grieveinyourownway #griefsupport #griefshare #griefisajourney #griefisaprocess #griefprocess #griefcounseling #therapy #therapyworks #healing
When we’re in crisis, time seems to stop, turnin When we’re in crisis, time seems to stop, turning into frozen moments, a cluster wound tightly inside our bodies. These moments are forever frozen with crystal clear clarity.⁠
Be aware of their power—they are very easily “triggered” and can cause you to feel like you’re ⁠
re-experiencing a trauma all over again.⁠
For example, even now when I hear sirens and ambulances it takes me right back to that morning when Jim died, in vivid detail. In the early days it happened often. The triggers would take me by surprise. Just seeing a photo of a wedding or hearing a favorite song of ours was enough to cause me to crumble into sobs. Triggers can bring back all the feelings and emotions instantly and often surprise you with their intensity. The body always remembers.⁠
Know this will happen and be gentle with yourself. Know this is normal.⁠
Take deep breaths. If possible, take some private time and let yourself feel the feelings, cry, pound a pillow, whatever feels right to release stored up emotions inside.⁠
Be as kind and gentle to yourself as you possibly can. It’s what you need right now.�⁠
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#grieftogratitude #youarenotalone #debbieaugenthaler⁠
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Purchase the book 'You Are Not Alone: A Heartfelt Guide to Grief, Healing, and Hope' by Debbie Augenthaler. ⁠
LINK is in our profile. ⁠
⁠
#wuvip #begentlewithyourself #crisis #griefandloss #debbieaugenthalerauthor #youarenotalonebook #grief #grieving #griefsupport #griefshare #griefisajourney #griefisaprocess #griefprocess #griefcounseling #therapy #therapyworks #healing

“Your heart and my heart are very, very old friends”

— Hafiz

If you are in need of support, please CLICK HERE for a list of resources.

Crisis Resources

Emergency: 911

These numbers are provided for informational purposes only and may be subject to change.
All numbers are valid for the United States.

To find a qualified therapist, go to Psychology Today’s website, and follow the simple steps to find a therapist in your area. Here’s the link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us    This is a world-wide resource. If you’re not in the US, go to the upper right hand corner of the page and change the country.

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1 (800) 273-8255

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline:

1 (800) 799-7233

  • Family Violence Helpline:

1 (800) 966-6228

  • National Hopeline Network:

1 (800) 784-2433

  • Self-Harm Hotline:

1 (800) 366-8288

  • Planned Parenthood Hotline:

1 (800) 230-7526

  • American Association of Poison Control Centers:

1 (800) 222-1222

  • Alcoholism & Drug Dependency Hope Line:

1 (800) 622-2255

  • National Crisis Line, Anorexia and Bulimia:

1 (800) 233-4357

  • GLBT Hotline:

1 (888) 843-4564

  • TREVOR Crisis Hotline:

1 (866) 488-7386

  • AIDS Crisis Line:

1 (800) 221-7044

  • Lifeline Crisis Chat:

(Online live messaging): http://www.crisischat.org/

  • Crisis Text Line:

Text “START” TO 741-741

  • Veterans Crisis

Live chat https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/,
Call 1-800-273-8255 (press 1)
Text 838-255

*This page and my website are not a substitute for psychotherapy or other forms of professional support.

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